Mail Order Bride

I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund.

Hacked and Confused

The first time was after the Target hack, then Home Depot was hit and the most recent was Anthem.
That makes three times I've had to rename my dog.
Ugh!

Garden Water

The gardner said he's going to dig a hole in the garden and fill it with of water....
....he means well.