Old Never Dies

Old football players never die, they just go to the end zone.
Old footballers never die, they just kick the bucket.
Old forsesters never die, they just pine away.
Old fridge repairmen never die, they just blow their cool.
Old frogs never die, they just croak.
Old fruit never dies, it just pear-ishes.
Old auto mechanics never die, they just retire.
Old geologists never die, they just re-crystalize.
Old ghost towns never die, they become desolate.
Old golfers never die, they just lose their drive.
Old graphic artists never die, they just de-rez.
Old gymnasts never die, they just take longer to mount.
Old hams never die, they just get grounded.
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Old Helsinki tourists never die, they just vanish into Finn Air.

Bumper Stickers

• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• A penny saved is ridiculous.
• All that glitters has a high refractive index.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Anarchy is better than no government at all.
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Touched By Dallas Cowgirl

Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?
A: Touchback.