Senior Questions

What is the one thing that became more clear as you got older?
Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog.

Medicare Part G

Two senior citizens are lamenting about the lack of good nursing homes.  One of the seniors says he's considering taking advantage of Medicare 'Part G'  The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You're allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!  And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. As an added bonus, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great country or what?  Now that you've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week.

A Man Reached the Age of 105

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"