Life's Achievements!

Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really it all depends on your age. Consider the following:
At age 4, success is not peeing your pants.
At age 16, success is "gettin' a little".
At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding.
At age 35, success is about career and family.
At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings.
At age 65, success is "gettin' a little".
At age 80, success is not peeing your pants!

War is War

During World War II a group of German soldiers capture a French village. “Hand over all your food,” says the German officer to the Mayor . “But all we have left is a few scraps of bread,” protests the Mayor. “War is war,” replies the officer. “Hand it over.” After the Germans have eaten, the officer says, “Now give us your wine.” “We have nothing but a single bottle,” says the Mayor. “Tough,” says the officer. “Hand it over. War is war.” Once the Germans have drunk the wine, their officer says, “Now we want women. Hand over every girl in the village.” “But we have none,” replies the Mayor. “They have all fled. The only woman left is Madame Blanc, and she is over 90 years old.” “We don’t care,” says the officer. “War is war. Hand her over.” So the Mayor brings out Madame Blanc, who slowly starts taking off her clothes. The German officer gulps as he watches the old woman undress, “Uh, look, on second thought, we won’t bother…” he says. “Not so fast, Fritz,” replies Madame Blanc, dropping her underwear, “War is war.”

When You Are Young

When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.