Cough Drops

This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. The girl shrugged and said, jokingly, "Cough drops," and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, "What are you doing here, m'am?" The woman pulled herself up to her full height oF 4'4 and replied, "Well, I can suck em, can't I?"

Call Us for Assistance

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?' The lady said, 'My phone doesn't have an eleven.'

You Used Too

An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch. "You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer. "You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her. "You used to nibble on my ear." "Let me get my teeth."