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Old Age Jokes - Old Age Sex Jokes
Be Prepared
The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavored douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce ?" She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."
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An Elderly Couple And Sex
An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again -- the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs -- she's coming downstairs, he's heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"
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Distraught
The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her.
The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out... Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely.
Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went. The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well, I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."
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