Hooters

After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at Hooters to see some friends and have some hot wings and ice tea. After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I told him, "The one who knows how to fix elevators. I'm old, I'm tired, and I pee a lot."

Sun Lakes

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes, an Arizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"
He replies, "I lived here years ago."
"So, where were you all these years?"
"In prison, he says."
"Why did they put you in prison?"
He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."
"Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single... ?!"

Old Man And His Condom

One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said  "you don't have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too old and you don't have to worry about catching anything because you are going to die pretty soon anyway". The old man continued to put on his condom; he then looked up at the girl and said, "young girl the reason I am putting on this condom isn't because I am afraid of getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like the scent of burning rubber."