Not Enough Time

Did you ever notice the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop and tell everyone that they don't have enough time to do all their work.

Her New Job

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo" dolls.. It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."

Cutting Edge

Our Office was always on the cutting edge of technology. Not only did we have computers which spoke as well as listened; Hell, some of them even got ulcers.