Work & Office Jokes

Business One Liners - O

  • Old programmers never die, they just abend.
  • On a beautiful day like this, it's hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.
  • On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.
  • One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
  • One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
  • One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard
  • One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
  • One of those days? I have one of those lives.
  • One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays. 

Anonymous

Business One-Liners Continued 2

The obscure we see eventually; the completely apparent takes a little longer.
The one item you want is never the one on sale.
The one thing that money can not buy is poverty.
The one who does the least work will get the most credit.
The one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one doing it. 
The only important information in a hierarchy is who knows what.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
The only real errors are human errors.
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory. 

Categories: Work & Office Jokes
Anonymous

Who's Working?

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. And since we KNOW they don't do a damn thing, this leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces (i.e. let's soak up more tax dollars while we play "Doom"), which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes on jokerz.com. No wonder I'm tired; I'm the doing ALL of the work myself!

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Anonymous
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