Day Off Work

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

The Barracks Door Was Left Open

Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,  "Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was open. So, he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back into his office. "By the way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?" "Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

Garage Trouble

Jeff snoozed through his morning wake-up alarm and had scrambled to get dressed, drop the kids off and get to work.  He rushed into the office and as he was passing by the receptionist she said, "You left the garage open."  At first he thought maybe his neighbor had called but then realized that she was trying to tell him nicely that his zipper was open.  He went back to see her and asked, "Did you notice the Porsche in the garage?" She replied, "No, all I saw was a mini-van with flat tires."