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Money Jokes - Rich People Jokes
Decent Proposal
A business man is trying to find a potential wife, he finds three business oriented ladies and tells them he will give them each five thousand dollars. Each of them can do what they want with it but to be back in six weeks to tell him what they did with it. All three ladies think they will be smart and try to make money from the five thousand dollars. The six weeks go by and the three ladies go to meet the business man. The business man says, "Number One, what did you do with your money?" Number One says, "I invested in T-bills and made $1500." The business man asks number two the same question. Number Two says, "I invested in the market and made $1700." The business man asks Number Three the same question, as well. Number Three says, "I invested in a CD and only made $1200." The business man, revaluated all three candidates and came to a decision. Can you guess which one he selected? The one with biggest breasts, of course.
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Discussing Finances
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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Mr Greenburg's Signature
Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's. He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)... you get the idea. One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by. "So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxious. Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2." Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since I'm now such a high class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"
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