Home Alone Children

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
St. Paul, MN  The hit movie "Home Alone" about a boy thwarting burglars with imaginative mayhem, wasn't total fantasy. Just ask the guy who tried to break in while 13-year-old Ryan Hendrickson was home alone.
Ryan was watching television Wednesday night when he heard a noise that sounded like a window screen being cut.
"I ran to the closet and grabbed a bat," Ryan said Thursday. "I went into the dining room, where I saw him cutting the window with a knife. He put his left hand in first and I was waiting for his right hand to come in and I took the baseball bat and I hit him as hard as I could."
The man ran. Ryan called 911. Police, while cautioning Ryan to call 911 first next time, did enjoy the fact that the kid got in the first lick against a bad guy.

Money Quotes

• Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. J. Paul Getty
• A man explained inflation to his wife thus, 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' Lord Barnett
• Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. Rita Rudner
• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker
• My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn

Jewish Love of Air

Q: Why do Jewish people love air?
A: Because it's free.