Washcloth Carpet

Your house is so small, if you dropped a washcloth, it would look like wall to wall carpeting.

Yo Mama - Quarters

Yo mama so stupid, she holds onto quarters tightly in case the the eagles on them fly away.

A Woman Selling Apples In New York

A woman selling apples in New York is puzzled by a man who always comes by, pays a quarter, but never picks up an apple. This goes on for some time until, one day, the woman runs after the man as he walks away. "I know why you are chasing after me... you want to know why I always pay a quarter but never take an apple," the man says. The woman replies: "No, I wanted to tell you that the price has just gone up."