Sign of Inflation

Q: What is the sign of inflation?
A: A Volkswagen with 12 Latinos in it.

Dem Smart City Folk

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?", he asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. "I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday. Is tomorrow OK?" "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news. I went out after breakfast and the mule was dead." The city feller says "just give me my money back then." "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?"  "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me! City fellers know a few tricks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each other at the barber shop. "What did ya do with that dead mule?" "Raffled him off, sold 100 tickets at two dollars each and made 98 dollars profit." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just one guy so I gave him his two dollars back!"

Pre-Declined

The recession is getting so bad, the bank sent me a new type of credit card. It was pre-declined.