Steal from Lawyers

Jack and Mugs, two second-story men from Flatbush, were comparing notes on recent burglaries. "Didja get anything on that last heist?" Jack asked. "Nuttin' at all," Mugs admitted. "Toins out that the guy that lives there's a lawyer." "Jeez, ain't that the breaks," his friend sympathized. "Didja lose anything?" 

Stealing the Camera

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
February 1, 1993 - Raleigh, N.C.
Police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled. Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera. 

Barnum and Bailey's Circus

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."