Little Harry Walks In The Bathroom

Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on standing in front of him. He looks up at her private parts he asks "What's that mum ? " His mum frozen, tried to think what to say. Finally she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"

Rectum

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends were. "Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!" "Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum." "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Kid's Letters to God

Some cute letters kids have written to God:

Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - Jane
Dear GOD:  Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry
Dear GOD:  If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey
Dear GOD:  I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan
Dear GOD:  In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane
Dear GOD:  I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Alison
Dear GOD:  Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy
Dear GOD:  Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? Anita
Dear GOD:  Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
Dear GOD:  Who draws the lines around the countries? - Nan
Dear GOD:  I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
Dear GOD:  What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane
Dear GOD:  Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla
Dear GOD:  Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce
Dear GOD:It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend, (But I am not going to tell You who I am)
Dear GOD:  Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. Tom L.
Dear GOD:  Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Bruce
Dear GOD:  If we come back as something else, please don't let me be MaryHorton - because I hate her. - Denise
Dear GOD:  If you give me a genie like Aladdin, I will give You anything You want, except my money or my chess set. - Raphael
Dear GOD:  I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. - Sam
Dear GOD:  You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. - Dean
Dear GOD:  I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. Ruth M.
Dear GOD:  I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying - Elliott
Dear GOD:  Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.- Rob
Dear GOD:  My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? - Marsha
Dear GOD:  I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. - Love, Chris
Dear GOD:  We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it So I bet he stole your idea. - Sincerely, Donna
Dear GOD:  The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land, you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Eddie
Dear GOD:  I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already. - Charles 
Dear GOD:  I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool. - Eugene