Buying Enemies Gifts

If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

The Little Boy Went to the Whore House

There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the boy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids. I have money that is no problem." the man was like ok "if you have the money." So the boy went in and fucked the whore and came out smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understand why he was so happy. "it’s a long story" the boy said. "Tell me, I can wait" the man said impatiently. "Ok" the boy says "I have aids now right? Well--I'll go home and screw the babysitter...she'll get aids, then my dad will come home and screw her...he'll get aids, my dad will screw my mom...she'll get aids. Then my mom will then screw the milk man...and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!" 

Little Harry Walks In The Bathroom

Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on standing in front of him. He looks up at her private parts he asks "What's that mum ? " His mum frozen, tried to think what to say. Finally she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"