Sunday School Christmas Lesson

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents. As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"

Butterfly

Q: Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
A: To see the butter fly! 

Kids Speak Like Grownups

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride." The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride." The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher. "Winnie-the-Shit!"