Your Son is a Chicken

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."

Moral of the Story

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone must find out a moral for the next day's class. One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Then Adam came in with a broken jaw and black eyes and said, "I asked my Uncle Johnny for a moral and he told me to shut up. I told him he had to help me because it was homework." The teacher said, "What is the moral, Johnny?" "DON''T MESS WITH UNCLE JOHNNY WHEN HE'S DRINKING!!!''

Church Poop

Q: Did you hear about the baby who pooped her pants in church?
A: Holy shit!