Nymphomaniac?

"Mommy, mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?"
"Shut up and help me get grandma off the doorknob!"

Housewife

One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas, and empty food boxes were on the kitchen counter. When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone. He looked at her, bewildered, and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today." "Yes" was his reply. She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"

Disposition To Have Children

A wise man once said that having children is hereditary. Which is tantamount to saying: If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either.