Dad Joke - Oldest

Dad: "You ask too many questions. Just like your older brother used to."
Me: "But... I'm the oldest."
Dad: "Now."

Vultures and Mothers In Law

Q:  What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law?
A:  Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.

Gullible

Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really really hard." So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?" Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."