Christmas Accident

After a terrible Christmas Eve car accident, three guys died and went to heaven. St. Peter met them at the gates and asked that they show him something related to Christmas to enter heaven. The first guy rummages through his pockets and pulls out a lighter, lights it and said, "Christmas Candle." St. Peter agreed that there were indeed Christmas candles and let him pass. The second guy fishes around and pulls out a set of keys, shakes them and says, "Christmas bells." St. Peter again agrees and sends him through. The third guy reached into his coat pocket and pulls out a pair of girls panties. St. Peter said, "Now what do panties have to do with Christmas?" The guy said "Oh, these are Carols." 

Cat on the Beach

Q:  Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ?
A:  Because they both have "Sandy claws" !

Santa's Gas Mileage

Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.