Top 10 Thanksgiving Comments

10. Reach in and grab the giblets.
9. Whew..... that's one terrific spread!
8. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
6. Talk about a huge breast!
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone."
4. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 minutes to hold her down.
3. It's cool whip time!
2. If I don't unbuckle my pants, I'm going to burst.
1. It must be broken 'cause when I push on the top, nothing squirts out.

Christmas Insult

How to be Insulting at Christmas: Try to find what you were given last year and give it back to the person who gave it to you.

Santa In Ethiopia

Once Santa Claus went to Ethiopia, to give the children some words of comfort. He was there, with all those bony kids all around, and then they started yelling: "WE WANT TOYS!! WE WANT TOYS!!!" Then, Santa, remembering his important job of orientating children to behave well, said: "A child who doesn't eat right doesn't get toys!!!"