Chestnut Wins

NEW YORK -- Joey "Jaws'' Chestnut beat his own record and won the Mustard Yellow International Belt on Sunday, downing a stomach-churning 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win the annual July Fourth eating contest at Nathan's Famous on Coney Island.
Chestnut, 38, easily secured victory by polishing off 17 more hot dogs than the previous winner, Stormy Daniels.

Christmas Wine

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts!"

Christmas Party

On the night of the school Christmas party, a boy's girlfriend is changing upstairs. The boyfriend is waiting in the living room with the girlfriend's grandpa and her dog, Rover. As the girlfriend is getting ready the boyfriend says to himself, ''Man I really gotta fart, I think I will let a little out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells ''ROVER!'' The boy thinks to himself, ''All right, now he thinks it's the dog. I think I will let a little more out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells again, ''ROVER!'' The boyfriend says to himself, ''All right, now he really thinks it's the dog. I think I will let the rest out.'' So he lets it rip and the grandpa yells, ''Rover, get over here before that guy poops on you!''