Witch to Believe

A guy embezzled money from his company and was about to jump off a bridge, when an old hag appeared and told him she was a witch, and would put the money back if he would sleep with her. He did, and was ready to go back to work, believing his problems were solved, when the old hag who was in bed smoking a cigarette asked him, “Sonny, aren’t you too old to believe in witches?”

Raining All Night

There were 3 fish (the mom,dad,son) who needed a place to sleep. The mom slept in the kitchen sink. The dad slept in the the bathtub. The son slept in the toilet. The next morning the dad asked the mom how her night was. "Okay, but it was a little too small, said the mom" The mom asked the dad how his night was. "Just fine. There was a lot of room to swim," said the dad. The dad asked his son how his night was; "Horrible!!", said the son. It was raining scat and logs all night long!!"

Homesick

Q: What's red and crawls up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion!