Definition of Strain

Q: What's the definition of strain?
A: Teeth marks in the toilet seat!

Homeless Meal Items

Three bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

Elton John Fired

Elton John used to work at the sperm bank, but he was fired for drinking on the job.