Billy Bob & Linda Sue's Anniversary night

On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy Bob decided he couldn't let all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into the empty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. He screamed to his wife, "Linda Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?"

A Small Disappointment

Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs to shit. "I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink" "There's another trench over there" says the other. "I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout and i'll cover you so you can get back" "OK" so the GI runs across while the other fires off the machine gun. He's waiting 10 minutes ......15 .......20 ....he shouts out  "Are you Ok?" .....nothing. Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting. "Cover me i`m coming back." When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have you been? you've been gone for over an hour" "Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her tits, fondled her ass, turned her round and fucked her from behind!" "It was great!" "You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?" "nah" said the other,disappointedly" she didn't have a head"

No Shit

Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?" "Sure." "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!" "No shit?" Bruce asked. "Well, hardly any."