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Gross Jokes
Throw Yourself Into Work
When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself." "Don't be stupid, Joe," said the psychiatrist. "My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy." "How?" asked Joe. "Easy," replied the quack. "I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?" "I clean out septic tanks." Joe replied.
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Washing Clothes
One day a girl was washing her clothes. She took her shirt... wishy washy wishy washy. Looks clean, feels clean, (sniff) smells clean. Then she took her pants... wishy washy wishy washy. Looks clean, feels clean, (sniff) smells clean. Then she took her underpants... wishy washy wishy washy. Looks clean feels clean (SNIFF!!!) Ummm... wishy washy wishy washy!!!!!!!
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Christmas Bet
Joe and Tom went to a bar after a company Christmas party. After several hours of drinking, Joe said he'd give Tom $20 if he'd take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.
Tom: "No way, man. That's disgusting!" Joe: "What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??" Tom: "Uh. No. Even for $50, that's just too gross!" Joe: "Well…what if I offered you $100? C'mon…it's just one sip!" Tom: "Well…I guess it won't kill me and I really can't turn down that offer. I could use the extra cash for Christmas."
So…Tom picks up the spittoon to take a sip and keeps on drinking from it…glug…glug…glug…
At this point, Joe is repulsed and says to Tom: "Alright, already! STOP! You're grossing me out. You only had to take ONE sip!!"
Tom promptly empties the spittoon, puts it back on the bar, wipes off his mouth and sits down next to Joe.
Joe: "Why did you do that??? That's was SO disgusting!! The bet was for you to take ONE sip and you drank the whole damn thing, I think I'm gong to puke!"…to which Tom replied: "I couldn't stop. It was all one piece."
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