First Mate's Booty Call

No, seriously, you're my first mate. Yar!

An Incredible Inventor

He was an inventor of note. He created a big shoe with a phone in the heel. Now, he thought, he could use a phone whenever he wanted. He made several more so that he could have several shoes with phones in the house. One day, an emergency came up and he needed a phone bad. Would you believe it, he couldn't find a single phone boot. 

Turtle Got Mugged

A turtle that was crossing the street was mugged one day. The policemen came to help and asked him what happened. He replied, "I am not sure, it happened too fast."