Dogs And Fleas

Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dogs?

Upholding The Cloth

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her. "Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely." "Thank you, Father," she replied. The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked. "Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely." "Thank you, Father," said the prostitute. Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you." And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. It felt it while we were dancing."

Hilarious Signs

• Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
• On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
• Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
• Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
• In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
• Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"
• On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
• In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
• At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
• In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."