You Grew Up In The 80's If

• You learned to swim about the same time "Jaws" came out and still can't swim naked at night.
• Prince's "1999" was the focal point of your plans for an end of the century party.
• You dressed to emulate either Duran Duran, Poison, Madonna, Rick Springfield or Cyndi Lauper.
• You wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
• You had a poster of Bo, Luke & Daisy Duke.
• There was nothing questionable about Bert and Ernie living together.
• You dialed "867-5309" to see if Jenny would answer.
• Your family's cable TV box had the three rows of numbers, and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.

Visit The Barber

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!"

Yo Mama - Guppies

Yo mama is so fat, she makes whales look like guppies.