Brilliant Advice

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, don't do that.

Free iPhone6

Wrote a joke about those internet pop ups that tell you you've won a free iPhone6.
You won't get it
 

Tardy Attention

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"