Wrong Way

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Neighbor's Dog

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this," and she goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"

Yo Mama - Lantern

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she closes her mouth, her cheeks light up.