Humorous Moment

A cop pulls over a car. He walks up to the car, the driver lowers his window and a cloud of weed smoke pours out.  The cop looks at the driver and notices his eyes are as red as a stop sign. The cop then asks the driver, "How high are you?
The driver laughs and says, No officer, it's Hi, How are you...

Piano Uncle

My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.

Vasectomy

I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.
But all it did was change the color of the baby.