Beauty is Only Skin Deep

I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Permission

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect hunting and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a brand new ATV, tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had handcuffs and ropes on the bed! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So I stopped at Bass Pro Shop, picked up a new Arctic Cat 700 and here I am.

Process-Oriented God

Process-Oriented God
If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like this: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day. And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize and God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And evening and morning were the second day. And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long-term planning." Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third day. Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the process was constructive. And evening and morning were the third day. And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision functional organization and engage in planning by objectives." The committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequential alternatives to program directions, and God saw that this was good. And God thought that it was even worth all of the coffee and donuts that he had to supply. And so ended the fourth day. And God said, "Let the committee be implemented with long-range planning and strategy." The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models. And God saw that this was very democratic. And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and objectives. On the sixth day the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda that God had planned. He wasn't able to attend, however, because he had to take the afternoon off to create day and night and heaven and earth and seas and plants and stars and trees and seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fish and animals and human beings. On the seventh day God rested and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turned out that the recommended forms for things were nearly identical to the way that God had created them; so the committee passed a resolution commending God for his implementation according to the guidelines. There was, however, some opinion expressed that people should have been created in the committee's image. And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee...