Rubbed The Wrong Way

A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"

Limbo Champ

The 2014 world limbo champion walks into a bar...
and loses his title.

Furballs

My cat coughed up furballs this morning
Might seem normal to you but Furballs was my hamster