You Might Be An E.R. Doctor If...

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor If...

1. Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
2. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
3. You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
4. You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
5. You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
6. You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
7. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
8. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
9. You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
10. You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
11. Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"

Light Bulb - Irishmen

Q: How many Irish does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins around.

Little Red Sports Car

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"  "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit....so I cut the back wheels off....."