Double Wide Salad

Q: What is a double-wide salad?
A: It's for people who can't afford a house salad.

Frat Boy Cab Ride

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?" The cabbie says, "Sure." So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.

Making Coffee

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot.  You've got to take your time. You've got to stir gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.