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Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes
How did I get here?
A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”
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Goodbye To Mother
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They didn't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife went out to the taxi while the husband went upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long", he said, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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Likable
I finally found a woman like my mom. This woman acts like her, looks like her, and smells like her. I decided to take this woman home, and for some reason my father doesn't like her!
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