Sex Ed

My teenage daughter came home in a rage. "I just had sex education class in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!" I put down my paper and said, "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

What is a Stable?

Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible.  When my son was old enough to talk, he asked me what a stable was.  
I thought for a moment how to explain it to him in terms he could understand, then told him, "It's something like your sister's room, but without a stereo!"

Better Parents

Two boys argue over whose parents are better. The first boy says, "My dad's better than your dad." The other boy says, "Well, my mom is better than your mom." The first boy pauses, "I guess you're right. My dad says the same thing."