Visit The Barber

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!"

Vasectomy Solutions

I got a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.

Burying Daddy

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.