Jokes about Families - Father Jokes

Snakes And Bushes

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At Home) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Teacher's Note

Tommy's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Tommy seems to be a very bright boy but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , School Jokes (Elementary School Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Baby's First Words

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, "Are you my dad?". The doctor says, "No, I am your doctor!"  With that, the baby pops right back inside. "Damn!", says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. "Are you my dad?", asks the baby. "No, I am your doctor.", he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother's womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, "Nurse, get that baby's father in here right away--we may have a situation on our hands!"   Moments later the baby's father is in the delivery room, and the baby's head once again pops out. "Are you my dad?", the baby asks of the father. The father replies, "Yes, little baby, I am your father!" The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger-- "How do you like that?"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Profession Jokes (OBGYN Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes)
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Anonymous
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