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Jokes about Families - Daughter Jokes
Lawyer Naming His Daughter
Q: What did a lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue!
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Amish Heat
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up." He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did, and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!"
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Digital Love
Dearest Dad,
I'm coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of a relationship through Viber.
My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes and a really big wedding. Lots of love and thanks. Your favorite daughter, Lilly
THE RESPONSE
My Dear Lilly,
Like Wow! Really? Cool! and a big whatever... I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell his sorry ass on eBay!
Love, Your Dad
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