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Ethnic / Country Jokes - Native American Jokes
Brave With Chief's Daughter
There was a brave with no sexual experience. He went to the chief and asked to meet one of his daughters. The chief said, ''No, you first must go into the forrest and practice on the trees.'' The little brave did as he was told. After several days, the brave returned and asked again, ''Chief, can I meet with one of your daughters?'' ''Why sure you can, young brave,'' said the chief.
So, after a little foreplay with the chief's daughter, the little brave undressed her. Before going any further, he turned around, grabbed a stick, and started pushing it in and out of her. ''What do you think you're doing?'' she screamed. ''Checking for bees,'' he replied.
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My Last Request
Once upon a time a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were captured by the Red Indians on a prospecting trip in North America. They'd been tied up against their respective totem poles for a day when the Chief walked up to the Englishman, pinched the skin of his upper arm and said, "Hmmm, heap good skin, nice and thick. Will make heap good canoe. You have a last request?" "That case of gin I had when your boys caught me. I'd like that," says the Englishman. He's provided with his gin and is taken off to a teepee for his final night. The Englishman drinks two bottles of gin. In the morning the Indians kill him, skin him and make him into a canoe. The canoe lasts a couple of days when it tears on a rock. Next day the Chief walks up to the Scotsman, pinches the skin at the top of his arm and says, "Hmmm, heap, heap good skin, very, very thick. Will make heap, heap good canoe. You have a last request? "Ah'll huv ma whisky back," says the Scotsman. He's provided with his whisky and taken off to a teepee for his final night. The Scotsman drinks three bottles of whisky. He's already dead when the Indians come to collect him the next morning. They skin him and make him into a canoe. The canoe lasts a week before it tears on a rock. Next day the Chief walks up to the Irishman, pinches the skin at the top of his arm and says, "Hmmm, heap, heap, heap, heap good skin, very, very, very, very thick. Will make heap, heap, heap, heap good canoe. You have a last request? "I'd like a fork." says the Irishman. The Chief gives him a funny look but gives him the fork. The Irishman takes the fork, stabs himself repeatedly shouting, "Yer no makin' any bloody canoe outta me!"
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Headdress
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave, who had only one feather in his headdress, "Why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?"
His reply was, "Me have only one squaw, me have only one feather." She asked another Brave, feeling the first fellow was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress.
He replied, "Ugh; me have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws." Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of squaws involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters.
She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me fuck-em all. Big, small, fat, tall. Me fuck-em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung!"
The Chief replied, "You damned right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like snake."
Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so goddamned hostile!"
The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog- style, wolf-style, any-style, me fuck-em all!"
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear." The Chief said, "No deer. Me no fuck deer. Asshole too high and fuckers run too fast. No fuck deer!"
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