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Ethnic / Country Jokes - Irish Jokes
Fertility Candle
Mrs Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flanagan. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be there any wee little ones yet?" She replied, "No, not yet, Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a fertility candle for ye and yer hoosband." She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father..." They then parted ways..
Some years later they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs Donovan, how are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!" The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful! And how is yer loving hoosband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!"
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Cock Fights
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight? He enters a duck. How can you tell if a Pole is present? He bets money on the duck. How can you tell if an Italian is present? The duck wins.
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Martin Asshole
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked "Can I help you sir?" Our man said "Yes, I would like to change my name." "What is your current name?" asked the clerk. "Martin Asshole," replied the man. The clerk laughed, and said "I can see why you want a change. What would you like your new name to be?" "Tim."
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