Englishmen Taunt the Irish

Three Englishmen drink in a bar and spot an Irishman in the corner. The first Englishman starts to taunt the Irishman, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a sissy?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The second Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The third Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?" "Oh, no. But that's what your friends have been trying to tell me."

Mick's Story

Mick was sitting at the pub telling his mate Harry about a disturbing thing that happened the night before. "Last night I came home from the pub pissed as a tick, so I hopped into bed and started feeling up me missus. After a few strokes of her firm arse she got aroused and then we fucked like bunnies for about two hours. Like I do every time after a fuck, I leaned over and turned on the light, lit up two cigarettes and went to pass one to the trouble 'n' strife. Rubbing me weary eyes I realized that I'd accidentally walked into my 15 year old daughter's room, and worse still she was on the swimming team and didn't smoke.

Irish Guy in the Hospital

Q: How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital?
A: He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan.