Ethnic / Country Jokes - German Jokes

German Clock Maker

Q: What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick,tick'?
A: 'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Ten Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.
First he goes to the French and says: "I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?" "Ah, oui? What do zey say?" "For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery" "Oh, non, non, merci, non", and they send the Angel on his way.
The Angel then goes to the Germans: "I have new Commandments from God." "Ja? Vat do they say?" "Well for example: Thou shalt not kill" The Germans shake their heads, "I think's not, nein, danke!"
The Angel, perturbed, goes to the Jews and says: "I have new Commandments from God..." "How much?" "Well...they're free"
"We'll take ten."

Categories: Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes)
Anonymous

Granny Rules

My Grandad was wounded by a German during the war
Granny Schneider found him in bed with another woman and shot him

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips
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