Old German Joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

Tiger's Mercedes

Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky in his new Mercedes. He stopped at a small gas station and asked the mechanic if he could get his oil changed. "Why sure," the mechanic said, not seeming to recognize the golf star. About thirty minutes later the oil change is complete. As Tiger started to back the car out, the mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Tiger what they were for. Tiger looked down at the tees on his dash and says, "Those are what I set my balls on." The old man replied, "Boy oh Boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"

Hitler Juice

Q: How did Hitler like his juice?
A: Concentrated