German Out of Bathtub

Q: How do you get a German out of the bath?
A: Turn on the water.

German Alphabet

Q: Why is the letter 'C' afraid of the other letters in the alphabet?
A: All the other letters are 'not cs'.

Old German Joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."