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Ethnic / Country Jokes
I'll Tell Them Slowly
"Hey," said a new arrival in the pub, "I've got some great Irish jokes." "Before you start," said the big bloke in the corner, ", I'm Irish." "Don't worry," said the newcomer, "I'll tell them slowly."
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Too Good To Be True
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness." The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table." The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid." "That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?" "No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."
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Glasgow
Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don't know where they are. The first guy says "I'll find out" and puts his arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says "We're just over Paris" "How do you know" ask the others "Well I've just felt the top of the Eiffel tower." Later on the second guy tries and says "We just flew over London" "How do you know?" asks the others "Well I've just felt the top of Big Ben" Still later on the last guy tries it, puts his arm out the plane, and says to the others "We have just flown over Glasgow." "How do you know that?" comes the reply. "Because some bastard has just stolen my watch"
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